Update on Kristie - and Harry too

I left Harry's rehab room early this morning to go home and get ready for church. McKenzie (our 10 yr old son) came to the rehab center and took my place while I was gone. Today was emotional for me mostly because of Harry's sadness on Saturday. He just felt defeated and overwhelmed. I'm sure some of that was due to the medications and some was just because of this tough situation. He's been battling these feelings for several days and I felt like I was running out of strength for both of us

I wanted so badly to go to church where I could just rest...not catch up on neglected laundry and cleaning, plan for the upcoming week of school or even worry about what would be cooked for dinner. I really wanted to be refreshed and refilled...I'm feeling so tired and depleted. I didn't even have the energy to analyze my self-centeredness. I just embraced it and got even more excited about relaxing and being spoon fed a message of truth and hope.

Once at church I felt myself shrink from my usual outgoing self...I wanted to be there but I didn't want anyone to talk to me. I found myself looking away from familiar faces to avoid small talk. Nothing personal I just knew I couldn't handle questions or polite conversation. Then, I ran into a sweet couple - new friends - who inquired about Harry when they saw me alone. I realized they hadn't heard so I told the story...a quick version. And then, the question, "How are YOU doing?" The next thing I knew they were offering, with great sincerity, to help in any way we needed. They prayed for me and my family in the hallway. For a moment, I faded out of the circle of prayer and saw us as the body of Christ...operating the way we were meant to. God was smiling. I didn't feel like a burden...I think because they didn't take our problems on themselves they just joined with me and we ran directly back to the Lord. The only One who knows the whole story (beginning, middle and even the end). This certainly isn't the first time I've been prayed for and they weren't the first to genuinely care. The whole thing stood out to me though the way a familiar scripture suddenly breathes something brand new for the moment you are in.

I made my way to my Sunday school class after hiding at the end of the hallway to get a few tears out. My head and face were hurting from holding it all in. Just then my cell phone rang and it was a man from my class checking to see if I made it to church. He had arranged several generous meals for my family and wanted to know if I was picking them up or if he would need to drive them to our house - about an hour away. I let him know I was there, got myself together and walked into class. The lesson was fantastic and although it was relevant to my personal situation (the way that every song on the radio seems written for you right after a break up) it was also a great diversion. When it was over more friends came up to me to find out what they could do and how they could help. One man even encouraged me to receive graciously whatever help is offered. That was a "full-circle" moment for me because God has been saying that same thing to me over the past year or so. Who knew?

The point of all of this is to say that I left heavy and returned light. I've always thought that I have friends but this experience has really proven that my friends are truer and more dear than I ever knew. People have risen to meet every need. Not just the ones I mentioned in this update but all along. Schooling my kids (really well) in my absence, providing transportation, sending money, helping me restructure Harry's business so he can get back to "normal" earlier, prayer, prayer and more prayer, sitting up late at night with me,

On the way home from Raleigh, after church, my son called from Harry's room. I got to talk to Harry for a few minutes and he told what a great day it had been for him. He was able to eat chicken by himself and he felt he had more control over his hands. I could hear him smiling over the phone. He was happy. I haven't seen that side of my husband (and best friend) for several days and knowing that he was better today made me happy, too. I've been asking everyone to pray for Harry's well-being and seeing the fruit of it was incredible.

I just wanted to share with my friends how incredible God has been to us during this. He truly can make something out of nothing. And in one day he can turn big things around. One of the discussion questions in Sunday school was "Can God's word help us in hard times? How?". I almost burst into laughter but I managed to raise my hand instead. For me, God's word and more importantly, knowing him personally, is THE ONLY hope we have. If I thought that this whole situation was up to me this whole blog would read very differently. I've experienced that peace that passing all understanding. Even when I wasn't sure what I would find the ER that first night there was an calm and a security. If you don't know God personally you may not understand but it's like even if the situation was as bad as it could be I still knew that God had my best interest at heart and that he would sustain me and our children.

I don't want to take anything away from those of you who have given so generously...I am truly grateful for each gift and sacrifice you've made. I believe that God himself will repay you more than we ever could for your kindness to our family. I thank you all and am happy to report that my sweet husband is soundly sleeping and in less pain than he's been in since this happened. A few minutes ago he thanked me for taking such good care of him and asked me if I knew that I was his favorite person in the world. I am pleased, and honored, to say Yes. I do.

PS: I have pictures ready to email as soon as I can figure out how to attach them. :)